99 Problems

Dear PioLog’s 99 Problems,

I have this friend. She is wonderful and I adore her. Such a sweetheart. We met on NST and have been pretty close ever since. She has had casual relationships with a few guys between last semester and this, and I’m usually the person she talks to about it. I love having our “girly” time together, even though it is generally pretty one sided because I haven’t been getting too much tail these days. Well, at first it bothered me that these guys weren’t taking her more seriously because she is so great, and then I realized that I was actually kind of jealous of them. I think I have a crush on this friend and I, as a girl, do not want to lose this friendship, but at the same time I’m starting to like her more and more and not just as friends. What do I do?!

Thanks.

-Friends so far...

Hey Friends So Far,

This is a pretty tough situation. It’s hard to be friends with someone that you have romantic feelings for, especially if they want to talk to you about all the other relationships they’re having, but it’s also hard to know whether to make a move. It’s particularly tricky if you don’t know whether your friend is into girls or not. One way to approach this is to subtly ask your friend, when the time is right, if she’s ever been with a girl or thought about it. Do this as if it’s just part of your normal girl talk, because you don’t want to make her uncomfortable. If she doesn’t seem into the idea, you have your answer.

If she is into the idea, the situation’s a little trickier. You have to try and see if there are any hints she might feel about you the way you feel about her. It’s always hard to tell, but if there’s nothing that suggests she likes you in that way, it’s best just to stay friends and not risk making things awkward. If you do pick up signs that she might be romantically interested or if it’s too painful for you to stay friends with her without her knowing how you feel, they you should consider laying your cards out on the table.

If you do decide to do this, try to do it in a way that will avoid as much awkwardness as possible. Don’t dive in head-first, test the water a bit. You could smile and say something like “I think I might have a crush on you,” or “Don’t you ever wish we could just date each other instead of these guys?” The more awkward you act about it, the more awkward she’ll feel, so convince yourself that it’s not a big deal and stay smiling and relaxed. If the conversation gets serious, be as honest with her as you can. Be sure to tell her that what’s most important to you is not to lose her as a friend or make her uncomfortable. Find out how she feels about it and listen to what she says. If things get too weird between you, you could try not to see each other for a while and then get back together again in a week or two and see how you feel. I hope this helps with your dilemma and remember that I don’t know your friend as well as you do, so trust your own judgment. Best of luck!

-99 Problems

Yo, I gotta problem for you to unriddle: Money. So, my friends’ parents are all pretty loaded. They give them a lot of spending money and so my friends like to dress up or go out usually three or four times a month for dinner; to get off of campus. I really like it and we have a great time but it is getting pretty expensive and my wallet is getting light. I have stayed in a few times because I don’t want to be that friend who always ditches out on those great nights, but if I do it too many times my friends get frustrated. I have almost told them a few times that it is just too much money, because my excuses about studying were not cutting it, but I think they’d offer to pay and I can’t stand that idea. Do I tell them? Do I just let it happen?

-Penniless Pioneer

Dear Penniless Pioneer,

Being light on money is nothing to be ashamed of. After all, we’re college students, we’re supposed to be broke. It sounds like your friends have a nice thing going with their dinners and it would be a shame to miss out on it, but it’s ultimately your right to judge for yourself how much money you feel comfortable spending and whether or not a fancy dinner is worth the cost.

Telling lies usually leads to uncomfortable situations, so your excuses for skipping the outings can’t hold up much longer. I’d say talk to one of your friends that you most trust and feel comfortable with and shoot straight with them. If you really wouldn’t feel comfortable taking money for dinner, say that right off the bat so you don’t have to decline an offer and offend anyone. But chances are your friends really value your company and if they’ve got money to spare, having you at their dinners is probably more important to them than saving an extra couple bucks. You could even maybe try and work out some kind of deal where you split the cost. Don’t let your pride stand in the way of a gift if they’re offering it truly and honestly. I know you don’t want to feel like you’re using them or putting them in a position where they’re obligated to pay for you and you might even want to tell them that. But it would be silly and sad if you stopped being able to hang out with your friends over something as trivial as money. If all else fails, try to think of some other activities you guys could do together, like museum visits, hiking or going out for something like dessert instead. Hope it all works out for the best!

-99 Problems

V-Day mopers ruin genuine holiday love

By Jake Bartman /// Staff Writer

Well, congratulations, all of you lovelorn single folk. You successfully ruined Valentine’s Day for everybody around you.

Was anyone else sickened by the shameless self-pity that what felt like 90 percent of the school wallowed in for the week surrounding the 14^th? It was like seventh grade again, with all of us trendy liberal arts students reverting back to the awkward and resentful emo and scene kids that we were once so proud to be.

Yes, it was that bad. Anyone who was unfortunate enough to check their Facebook during that spread of days can tell you. Facebook seemed to capture the essence of the whininess that enveloped campus like a fog, with people posting pictures of comfort food and complaining about how difficult it is to be single. It was absolutely pathetic.

I’d like to confess here: yes, I am happily involved in a long-distance relationship with an amazing girl whom I love very much. The single majority seemed to expect me to take Valentine’s Day as a long-awaited opportunity to litter Facebook with declarations of love and tacky photos of my girlfriend and me together, callously rubbing people’s noses in their own singledom in an audacious display of immaturity and self-indulgence.

But obviously this was not the case. That was the role of whiny single people  it seemed.

And, beyond the perspective of one who is in a relationship, I’d like to note that Valentine’s Day has never been about whining and complaining. I felt that way even when I was thirteen years old, single and whacked out on more hormones than Barry Bonds. That’s not what Valentine’s Day is about. So let me remind you what it is about:

Valentine’s Day is about love. It is about gratitude. It is about doing something small for those closest to you, whether you’re sexing them or not. It’s about appreciating what it is to be able to relate to people on a truly human level. And if you’re in a relationship, it’s about all the same things as it is for everyone else. Also, don’t give me that shit about Valentine’s Day being a made-up holiday whose sole purpose is to make money for businesses. That’s Christmas.

Remember in elementary school when you’d bring Valentine’s Day cards and candy for everybody in your class? It wasn’t about whether you were single or not. It was about being kind to the people around you, and showing that you valued their presence in your life. It seems that somewhere along the line, we started to fuck up Valentine’s Day.

So, next Valentine’s Day, please keep your toxic misery to yourself. Or even better: grow up and start being grateful instead of whining about what a difficult life you have. After all, relationships aren’t all chocolates and roses either.

While abroad, cyberspace keeps you at home

By Lindsey Bosse /// Staff Writer

On the southern side of the equator, about three hours ahead of Portland, 11 Lewis & Clark students spend most of their school time in a little academy in downtown Cuenca, Ecuador. There are four computers with fairly slow Internet that the students are allowed to use in their off time. During one of the routine 30-minute breaks, I check my email only to find that Annalisa Peterson, Dean of Students, 3CE and Opportunities and Announcements have emailed her more than any of her friends or family. This is not to say that my mother and friends have not emailed me, because they have, but how are they supposed to keep up with the multiple, daily emails sent to me by the College?

Once upon a time I saw a need for all this communication—that time was when I was the Editor in Chief of the Piolog and therefore found great excitement in new cups at the Bon and the celebration of Dickens’ birthday. But now? When I’m trying to figure out all the different irregular verbs in Spanish and why there is only one species of bear in South America, I just really don’t care. Which makes me wonder, of all the kids who are working on their theses or trying to pay rent, eat and buy textbooks or who are mid-new-relationship, who actually does care? Opportunities and Announcements is nothing short of a novel, and while the information is useful and I’m sure there is cool information, I just can’t capacitate it—even when I do have the necessary half-hour it would take to read the whole thing. 

Plus, um, hi, I’m in Ecuador…I can’t really make it to Council Chamber by 5 next Monday. Shouldn’t there be a little notice on the email server that says I’m gone? 

I can only imagine the students other places with even slower Internet than our little school here in Ecuador. They probably have rare access to the Internet as it is, and then they have to sift through all these notifications of celebrations, big red, Bon cups and what have you, just to find the “Hey Sweetie” email from their parents. Annoying. Really, really annoying. We’re not there. We don’t have time or hard drive space for your emails—you should know this.  

Overall- what I have learned from this is that we get a hell of a lot of emails from LC on the reg, and only a small percent of the emails we receive actually pertain to all of us. There are really great solutions. Some are already used, such as placing the most important information of the email in the subject line (that way, you don’t even have to read the email), like “Interested in giving feedback about Growers Alliance CSA?” Love it. I know exactly what this email is going to say, what it wants from me and now I can either throw it away or save it to answer when I have more time. On the other hand, “3CE News: 2/10” is a little vague, and uninteresting. Had it said, “10 Reasons You Won’t Get Hired,” I would know if I needed it or not, and might even read it.

LC is an absolute hot spot for activity and information, we are lucky to be attending a school where the all information is so easily attainible, and I understand that email is a great way to send what you have to say to as many people as possible. However, we should all (myself included) try to be more efficient and more persuasive emailers. Lure your reader in and try to aim for the reader that cares. Seriously. It’s not enough to just send out mass emails in hope that someone will listen.

Too liberal for the primary, too conservative for the election

By Cassie Bishop /// Opinions Editor

As I fluffed my New York Times, like any good IA student, I noticed an article titled “Paul Ad Calls Santorum A Fake Conservative.” I was perplexed and read on. The campaign ad in question was referenced again, so I went to the friend of procrastinators and news-seekers alike: youtube. I typed in the title of the article and the video popped right up.

I have never been a fan of ads that attack rather than promote. This 35-second video gave me, along with a laughably hideous impression of the GOP’s current status, the impression that Ron Paul just sucks so much that he is not even able to make a video that promotes his campaign. I doubt that was what Ron Paul was going for, but I’m sticking to it.

Anyway, from a liberal perspective, the list of things that Rick Santorum has done that excludes him from the “true conservatives” don’t place him much closer to my heart: he voted to raise the debt ceiling, doubled the size of the department of education, sent billion of tax dollars to Egyptian and Korean dictators and the goddamned fascist even gave Planned Parenthood money. 

I am just going to say from the get-go that I am relatively well informed as far as 19-year-olds go, but not an unbiased encyclopedia of information. Don’t hate.

1. I don’t know how I feel about raising the debt ceiling. I discussed the idea in my high school government class, but that was almost a year ago and a lot of those memories possess an opaque veneer now. Moving on...

2. I don’t have a huge background on the “doubling the size of the department of education” thing, but really, Ron Paul? Really? You’re hating on him because he allocated funds to our incredibly problematic system of education?! Yeah, totally. What a bastard. 

3. Didn’t the Reagan/Bush administration groom, train and arm Osama Bin Laden? Yup, sometimes people fuck up and a lot of the time those people fly under the Elephant. Suck it and move on, Ron Paul.

4. I know that Planned Parenthood is evil for assisting women in evilly and brutally murdering their precious, perfect little unborn babies and that Planned Parenthood is not incredibly popular right now—especially not with conservatives—but come on. He gave them some money so that women could choose responsibly. It’s rarely to get an abortion, so calm your little self, Ron Paul, and give Planned Parenthood a rest.

That kind of makes it sound like I love Rick Santorum. Well, I just watched a campaign video from Santorum’s official website and it was muckrakin’ on Mitt Romney—as well as using some psychological bullshit fear tactics—and Santorum is an insane prick who I would not under any circumstances vote for. 

So, I continued reading the article with all of these new videos and facts flashing like a Vegas casino in my mind. Pretty much, the rest of the article is a less eloquent analysis than my last few paragraphs. 

But why the balls are Republicans fighting so hard to “out-conservative” one another? It makes no goddamned sense. Yes, it is most likely that—Sorry, but who the hell is Buddy Roemer? My bad for the interruption, but I was checking my GOP progress knowledge against the New York Times and this old dude comes up as a candidate. For real? There’s another one? 

Yes, it is most likely that Mitt Romney will win the primary, but we all know what’s coming in November. Obama. I mean, they’re all too goddamned conservative. That may win the primary but even though some of America does agree with the psycho views that these GOP candidates preach, it is not a large enough percentage to beat Obama. He is not that liberal of a democrat, so that leaves America with electing a right-ish Democrat or an in-fucking-sanely right conservative. It is not going to happen.

The Republicans are sinking their own ship by thrusting such a right-y into the GOP seat, but hey—it is kind of fun to watch in a disgusting “what the hell-balls are you thinking?!” kind of way. At least Rick Perry is out of there. He still got over ten percent of the vote in Iowa. Christers.

Israel remains stagnant in a rocky sea of change

By Rye Druzin /// News Editor

Over the last year, the Middle East has been wrought with political upheaval and anti-dictatorial conflict. The “Arab Spring” or “Awakening,” as pundits have called it, has deposed three entrenched regimes in a year, the most recent being the Yemeni dictatorship of Ali Abdullah Saleh, who was effectively voted out of office on Tuesday and is in the United States for medical treatment. The governments of Bahrain, a U.S. ally, and Syria, an Iranian ally, face daily protests that threaten the regimes in power. Turkey and Iran have jockeyed for position as the balance of power in the Middle East has shifted dramatically, with the two countries attempting to influence events in Syria, which has implemented a brutal repression of its anti-Assad protest movement.  

In the midst of these massive changes sits Israel. Never before has the political situation in the whole of the Middle East been so unpredictable, and never before has Israel been so isolated. Turkey, once a strong ally of Israel, has had strained ties with the country ever since an Israeli raid on a Turkish flagged ship (the Mavi Marmara) killed nine Turkish citizens. Egypt, Israel’s large neighbor to the south, saw the rapid and unprecedented fall of Israeli-friendly Hosni Mubarak’s dictatorship. The rise of the Muslim Brotherhood in the new Egyptian civilian government, which came as no surprise to many, alarmed Israel (and to some extent the U.S.), with both countries worrying about the drastic shift in the political situation in Egypt away from a wholly pro-West and pro-Israel view to a more neutral political stance.

Israel’s isolation does not have to do with hatred for the Jewish state. Rather, the governments surrounding Israel have understood that it is wise to keep relations with Israel at least cordial. Israel, while small, has the most potent military in the region (and ranks high in the world) and also has a sizeable undeclared number of nuclear weapons. The country also has backing from the U.S., making Israel an insurmountable adversary.

The isolation of Israel has to do with its actions, or lack thereof.  While many have argued back and forth about why the citizens on the Mavi Marmara were killed, the reason that Israel lost clout with its allies and the international community was because it scoffed at calls for an apology or compensation for the deaths. This led to the suspension of diplomatic ties between Turkey and Israel, removing Israel’s most vital regional ally and friend from a picture that was rapidly changing. With both countries unwilling to back down, Israel’s isolation from its region has become more complete.

In Egypt, the rise of the Muslim Brotherhood has brought a different set of concerns. The Mubarak regime supported the thirty-year-old peace treaty that has existed between Egypt and Israel, a treaty accepted between the two governments, but not necessarily accepted by the Egyptian people. The youth who led the uprising and the political Muslim Brotherhood that gained the government are not as sympathetic towards Israel as Mubarak was. While I do not say that they are readying for battle, the last thirty years has not garnered much love for the Jewish state. Arab and Muslim opinion towards Israel has been almost wholly negative, shaped by its actions. In Egypt, which has fought multiple wars against Israel and permanently lost the Gaza Strip territory to the Jewish state, opinion on the ground reflects the actions Israel has taken, whether it be blockading Palestinian civilians in the Gaza Strip, killing Egyptian border guards or claiming more and more land for settlements in the West Bank, Israeli actions have shown the hypocrisy that exists between Israel’s talk and where it walks.

When Hamas, the anti-Israeli Islamic group based out of the Gaza Strip, won what were deemed to be well-run and fair elections in 2007, the West and Israel threatened to withhold funds from the Palestinian Authority. While I have been asked, “How would you expect Israel to work with someone who wants it destroyed?” I have replied, “How do you think it must have felt to be a Palestinian voting in fair elections and having your vote for democracy rejected?” While I do not argue the fact that the election of Hamas to the Palestinian government must have been unsettling, I believe that outright rejection of the electoral victors confirmed pro-Palestinians  preconceptions about Israel, mostly that Israel was unwilling to work with those who would not be its puppets.

My father’s parents lost many relatives in the Holocaust, and I would fight to my last to prevent that from ever occurring again to any group of individuals. But when I read about what Israel does to a powerless people under their own control, I cannot do anything but recoil in disgust knowing that Israelis and Jews are better than their actions, that the image portrayed across the world by what Israel does are not reflective of what ordinary Israelis and Jews are about. And when I hear of hatred towards Israel and Jews coming from the Muslim world it saddens me, because I see so much potential good coming from Jews and Muslims working together in the Middle East. Rather than cooperation and prosperity, I see instead the results of six decades of division and strife: bombs, bullets and death. Israel must make a serious effort to reach out and engage with the people of the Middle East, not just their governments. It must end its war of rhetoric and cease to see all those around it as enemies, because it’s an awfully lonely world out there and you can’t keep asking for friends if you keep pushing them away.