Howdy y’all! Glad you’re with me today. The name’s Ellis, David Ellis, but you can just call me Lone Ranger from my good ole cattle days. I’ve been around these parts a little time now and I can tell you we’re in tough shape. Sheffield and those Reedie boys `cross the river sure hit us hard when they stole our pup, Pio, and knocked over our safe in Frank Manor House. Shucks Partner! — We can’t let them stand for this! We ain’t got a dime between us — and we sure as hell gotta pay back Jeeves and those folks at the railroad company if we wanna keep the lights on come winter. I’m sorry I’m draggin’ ya into this stud, but we’re drowning out here with water up to our heads and not a way out. But don’t worry Partner, good ol’ Ellis has got a way out of this sticky situation. Old man Preston’s got a safe of golden bars from all the business he’s got runnin’ those Blue-Star D0ugh-Nut shops `round town. I say you and me deputize a couple of those Mulder boys and make a run for it — Let’s go knock em over, Stud! I know stealing ain’t the most morally right I’ve done — no sir. But we got our legs tied to the train tracks on an express ticket to Cincinnati. We ain’t got time to be good Christians about this. With the money we’ll get from this score we won’t have to hold up no more wagon trains. We’ll be able to pay off those damn Reedies, get our good boy Pio back, and probably have enough money to run LC into the ground in another 5-7 years. Whad’ya say Partner? You with me?
-Deputy David Ellis, Sheriff of Multnomah County,
Wrestling Champion against Shucky “The Snake” Sanchez
President of Lewis & Clark College